Maybe I just have a weird sense of humor, I don't know, but I just can't stop laughing about something random that happened last week...a normal person would be insulted, but in the words of the Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland:
"Why be normal? Where's the fun in that?"
So, last week I hear through the grapevine that Matt Falconer is going around telling people I'm mentally ill. He is so darn charming, I just want to pat him on the head. Can't run on his record, could hardly be bothered to vote in the past decade, little things like facts and legal/constitutional requirements (not to mention basic English grammar and spelling) seem to confuse the heck out of him, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised that the only response he has to criticism is to make up insults.
Well, there are two possibilities here: either (1) I am mentally ill or (2) I'm not. If I'm not mentally ill, then Falconer is committing slander and defamation and maybe I should just sue the heck out of him and take some of that Wal-Mart money off his hands.
I can think of so many fun things I could do with the money. I could rent a plane to fly around town with a banner that says "Falconer stinks." That would be enjoyable. Or I buy thousands of cookies that say "Teresa Jacobs!" on them and pass them out downtown. (For the election law aficionados that read this blog, I would set up an electioneering communications organization, which would let me spend unlimited funds on all my Teresa cookies. That would be a fun campaign finance report.)
As much as I like Teresa Jacobs, spending a million bucks on Teresa cookies probably is a little nuts. So maybe Falconer is right, maybe I am crazy. Which begs the question, if I'm so crazy, why has Falconer spent the past year continuously attacking me and picking fights with me? Doesn't seem like a very good strategy. I mean, being such a raving lunatic and all, heck, I could snap at any moment and go all Texas Chainsaw Massacre on him. If I am crazy, then Falconer's a blooming idiot.
Going back to the Alice in Wonderland theme, I often feel that being involved in politics does require you to be at least a little bit crazy. As the Cheshire Cat tells Alice, "We're all mad here."
So maybe I'm crazy for voluntarily getting involved in all these political shenanigans, maybe I'm crazy for writing this blog and doing it openly under my real name, maybe I'm crazy for thinking it's funny that Falconer is going around telling people I'm crazy. Who knows? Two things I do know, though, is that (1) I am having a whole lot of fun, and (2) Falconer wouldn't have his panties in such a bunch if he wasn't worried about me costing him votes. Yeah. I think I'll keep writing about him. He's such an entertaining character, I could write a post every hour on the hour until the polls close on August 24th, and never run out of material.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend, my dear readers. Early voting starts tomorrow, so go to the polls and help crush Matty Falconer's little dreams of world domination.