Monday, October 25, 2010

Republicans Kind of Suck - Which Is Why They Will Win Huge in November

Enjoy this amazingly brilliant post from Frank J. Fleming (of the IMAO blog), posted last week on Pajamas Media...with probably one of the most logical explanations of the resurgence of Republicans this year...

Fleming has a great analogy comparing a dog that barks all night (something that "sucks") and a zombie apocalypse (something that REALLY sucks), using it to point out that the Republicans screwed up, which is why they were defeated in the 2006 and 2008 elections, but that the Democrats have surpassed all previously-measured levels of "suckitude:"
AMERICANS: “So, the economy is pretty bad and there’s high [un]employment. You think you can do something about that?”
DEMOCRATS AND OBAMA: “We can spend a trillion dollars we don’t have on pork and stuff.”
AMERICANS: “No … that’s not what we want. We’d really like you not to do that.”
DEMOCRATS: “You’re stupid. We’re doing it anyway.”
AMERICANS: “That’s not going to help us get jobs!”
DEMOCRATS: “Sure it will; millions of them … though they may be invisible. You’ll have to trust us they exist. And guess what else we’ll do: We’ll create a giant new government program to take over health care.”
AMERICANS: “That has nothing to do with jobs!”
DEMOCRATS: “We don’t care about that anymore. We really want a giant new health care program. We’re sure you’ll love it.”
AMERICANS: “Don’t pass that bill. You hear me? Absolutely do not pass that bill.”
DEMOCRATS: “Believe me; you’ll love it. It has … well, I don’t know what exactly is in the bill, but we’re sure it’s great.”
DEMOCRATS: “You’re not the boss of me! We’re doing it anyway!”
AMERICANS: “Look what you did! Now the economy is way worse, we’re even deeper in debt, and we have a bunch of new laws we don’t want!”
DEMOCRATS: “You’re racist.”
AMERICANS: “Wha … How is that racist?”
DEMOCRATS: “Now you’re getting violent! Stop being violent and racist, you ignorant hillbillies! And remember to vote Democrat in November.”
So the Democrats sucked. But not just plain old, usual politician sucked, but epic levels of suck where it’s hard to find an analogue in human history that conveys the same level of suckitude. It was sheer incompetence plus arrogance — and those things do not complement each other well. We’re talking sucking that distorts time and space like a black hole.
It’s Godzilla-smashing-through-a-city level of suck — but a really patronizing Godzilla who says you’re just too stupid and hateful to see all the buildings he’s saved or created as he smashes everything apart...Obama and the Democrats have been so awful, it’s hard for the human brain to even comprehend...
But the Democrats will counter that the Republicans also suck. And while this is true, it’s not really going to help them. As I pointed out before, both a dog incessantly barking and a zombie apocalypse are things that everyone would agree suck. Yet no one during a zombie apocalypse, while hiding out in a boarded up mall, would turn to the other survivors and say, “We don’t want to kill all the zombies; then we’d have to go back to being woken up at night by that annoying dog next door.”
...People do remember how much the Republicans suck, and they know where it tops out … and that is nowhere near as bad as the Democrats are today. Like with the barking dog, it’s annoying, but you know it’s not going to cause the collapse of civilization as we know it. Not so with the zombie apocalypse; who knows how bad that could get if left to continue?  Same with the Democrats and Obama; people have never dealt with anything this horrible their entire lives, and they aren’t that curious to see how much worse it can be...
What do you think?  Are the Republicans doing well in the polls just because the Democrats are reaching new depths of suckiness?  More importantly, have the Republicans learned their lesson and is there any hope that if they win control of Congress again that they won't suck this time around?  (Keeping my fingers crossed!)


  1. That pretty well nails it. Interesting analogy.

    Actually, I kind of like the Dan Webster approach - talk about the issues and ignore your opponent. Seems to be working well.

    Dan Webster has been one of the most productive people in the state house over the long term. I think he's on to something.

    AG would never get the Webster approach, though. He has that killer zombie suckiness in his DNA... He is a thoroughly dislikable person.

    I especially like the sub-title in George Will's Newsweek article: "The short, ugly career of AG." Sums things up pretty nicely, IMHO.

  2. It could have something to do with this little thing called the tea party...

  3. Alan Grayson = Killer Zombie Suckiness.

    I like it! ;)


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